Things Forgotten

I forget in relationships.

That is something I do.

I forget who the person actually is and I only see what I need.

I know others do this as well,

I know that is a lot of what relationships are about.

But when the full truth stands out and shows up between me and the other, it is so very painful.

When the projections come clear, I can no longer hold onto how I want it, how I dreamt it.

Letting go of the wish, the fantasy of what I thought we shared is both a relief and a deep soul pain.

It is like the pain of a small child letting go of the wish that her brother would play with her and he never does, he only threatens her.

Yet, seeing what is the truth is a respite from the pain, so I know I will get over it.

I can count on that about truth, but it still hurts.

Hurts my heart.

My chest feels as if an arrow has been shot right to the core of me. The sting bleeds out from the open wound and spreads through my chest into my heart, into my thoughts, into my eyes where tears flow out attempting to relieve the pain.

The collapse is soon to follow.